As no one can bake apple pie without apples, in the same way you can not have a love relationship without love. But in addition to this important component, there are three most important ingredients for a love relationship. Because just as apples alone are not enough to bake a delicious apple pie, so love alone is not enough for a super strong relation. People have experienced that ‘love overcomes everything’, unfortunately does not always hold true. Those three other important ingredients for a relationship are understanding, respect and acceptance.
Well, it may sound somewhat formal but having respect is to respect each other. Appreciation for qualities and performance of your partner make your relationship stronger. You do not always have to agree with your partner but you can respect the way someone approaches or sees things. Suppose your partner thinks yoga is important and spends hours on learning to stand on his head, separate from a wall. You may find it ridiculous that someone loses his time with that but it will be better if you can admire his dedication and perseverance.
When you understand your partner, you are less disturbed by him or her. You do not get annoyed because you understand why someone says or does something. Imagine that you are an active type that has to be constantly busy. Just enjoying a sunny terrace is a waste of your time. While your partner needs to do nothing at times. Even though you know this from each other, you often try to change each other. Because you do not understand how someone can waste their time and he does not understand why you always want to be busy.
You are not the same person as when you first met. You may have found your life partner on a matrimonial site or by an arranged marriage. Over the time, you grow and you change. Your personality changes constantly, but your essence remains the same. Your personality is formed by your beliefs, your experiences and your upbringing. You can look at life differently through new experiences and get a different personality. But you can not change your essence. Your essence is innate, just as you can not change your fingerprint or the size of your feet. Some characteristics that belong to the essence of your partner must therefore be accepted, because they will never change.
And if you lose your heart to another what to do? Sometimes you lose your heart to someone and hope that it can become something beautiful. But you notice that you want to change each other too much. You can not understand each other’s behavior and you increasingly annoy one another. You have too high expectations and can not accept that the other is different from you. You are less and less aware of each other and have little respect for each other and then the time comes when you notice that love alone is not enough.
Or you lose your heart to someone and make something beautiful out of it. If you find yourself wanting to change each other too much, you can discuss this. You really try to understand the other person, to listen to each other and help each other. You notice that when you focus on what goes well between you there is less irritation. You do not expect the other person to change and you do your best to accept your partner as he or she is. You respect the way ‘you love’ in life. And you notice that there is a close bond between you.
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