Tips and advice for a happy and lasting marriage- Part 2

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5. Be loyal to acceptance

In a marriage, conflict is normal and even healthy. This is the way of life after marriage.In a study conducted in Delhi, 70% of longtime couples who were satisfied with their relationship felt that joint problem solving was a key factor; only 33% of dissatisfied couples mastered this approach. With the right attitude and the right tools, conflicts can be resolved most of the times if you have that willingness in you.


Above all, avoid criticism, confrontation and animosity, which can act as adding fuel to the fire. Having followed 79 couples for over 10 years, the California University researchers found that those who divorced earlier fought long and loudly and were always ready to go on the attack or to defend. However, the happy couples avoided the criticism, climbing and words such as “never” and “always.”

If a dispute arises, try to change the subject, to inject a dose of humor to show sympathy or show your spouse that you appreciate. If it is a waste, take a moment to calm down.

6. Choose the right time and the right place

Avoid difficult topics when you are tired or hungry, situations that can lead to unpleasant thoughts. For the same reason, do not take alcohol during an argument. Plan it rather to celebrate happy moments.

Never discuss your marital problems if you are busy with something else. Turn off the TV or the computer, hang up the phone and close your magazine. If you are distracted or have to go out, pick another time to discuss. It is difficult to resolve conflicts while doing something else.

Also keep in mind that the way you handle these situations does not affect you. If you sense that discussion could go wrong, put an end to it and resume it when the kids are not around. When they are, stay respectful and effective. It has been shown in studies that children thrive and develop good interpersonal skills when parents solve problems constructively. Conversely, the shouting and cries of helplessness cause either of insecurity and behavioral disorders.

7. Open your ears

The best thing you can do to strengthen your relationship is to talk less and listen more. Reproaches, insults, criticism and bullying can only lead to rupture or, at least, to a hellish life. When conservation takes the form of a battle, leave it to your partner to express his/her feelings. There will be time to propose a solution or defend you. Nod your head, rephrase your sentences or reply simply with a “yes-yes” delicately that you recognize the emotions behind your partner’s words. Sometimes all you need to get closer to the other is to pay attention to what they really have to say.

Is Love After Matrimony Possible?

Many might say that things are different after marriage. Couples who get married after being in love for several years can get into a conflict with their partner after marriage. An arranged marriage couple who have not got to understand their partner much before marriage can really become a sweet couple. It all depends on the couple and how flexible are they to understand the better-half.

In India most of the couples get joined through an arranged marriage system. There are several of the matrimonial sites for different communities like Munnuru Kapu Matrimony, Setti balija Matrimony, Illathu Pillai Matrimony and many others. While resolving conflicts amicably is important, it’s also important to find a bride or groom of your choice. Matrimonial sites can help brides and grooms to find a partner of their choice. Registering profiles in these matrimony sites is also not time consuming. Once the bride or groom starts looking out for matches, they get to understand partner’s preferences much better before the marriage paving way for a successful marriage. “There is no better relationship that a good marriage” – as the saying goes, Marriages are only successful with a give-and-take attitude between both bride and groom.

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